Purple Owl

My journey through life with bipolar disorder…

About Me

I’ve written a few posts now but haven’t really said much about myself.  I want to remain somewhat anonymous for the time being, just because I feel safer and more able to be open that way.  Who knows what will happen in time though, I may become more public as I become more comfortable on here.  I have written about my reasons to blog here.

Anyway, a few details for now.  I’m in my 30s, female and am a qualified secondary school teacher in the north of England.  I’m divorced but am happily in another relationship and have one beautiful daughter who is 8 years old.  I like painting, doing online courses and reading.

My mental health issues stem from childhood, I can clearly remember the first time I wanted to kill myself and thought death would be far more preferable than living.  It was on the way home from a school trip to Holland and I was 14 years old.  I just did not want to return home and I remember praying that the school bus would crash.  My childhood was quite tough, my parents divorced when I was 7 and my Mum turned to alcohol, drugs and a variety of boyfriends.  I blamed my Dad for a long time for leaving us in that toxic household and have only just rekindled any form of relationship with him.  I don’t have any contact at the moment with my Mum at all.

According to the psychiatrists I have bipolar disorder, I’m still not convinced by the diagnosis but I take Olanzapine every day and have diazepam for acute attacks of anxiety.  This diagnosis comes from a string of dealing with the mental health services including some admissions to hospital.

I have tried journalling in the past to help me deal with issues but I’m from the generation that finds typing flows easier than handwriting so I have decided to try and put my thoughts out there on a blog.  It is risky I know to share publicly but I hope to connect to others who are going through similar troubles.

Purple Owl x

10 thoughts on “About Me

  1. Hi PurpleOwl, I can relate to your story and I’m sorry you had to go through all that. I tried committing suicide at the age of nine. But by the grace of God I’m still here. I’m 52 now and I know now my past has only strengthened me, as it seems to also you. I just want to say again that your blog is awesome. It’s very encouraging. Thank you for starting your blog and posting. xo

    Liked by 1 person

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