Sorry I haven’t blogged for a few days, I’ve been in a funny old place mentally and haven’t had the motivation to write.
I thought I’d break the hiatus by writing up another session from my ‘Managing Emotions’ group I have been going to. I’m pleased to say that even though I haven’t been writing, I have been attending my usual groups to get out of the house.
What emotions do for you:
- Emotions motivate and organise you for action
- The action urge is often hard wired into our biology
- They save us time in getting us to act in important situations
- Emotions communicate to and influence others
- Facial expressions are hard-wired aspects of emotions that communicate faster than words
- Emotions communicate to ourselves
- Emotional reactions can give us important information about a situation
- Gut feelings can be like intuition.
What makes it hard to regulate your emotions:
- Lack of skill
- Reinforcement of emotional behaviour
- Using emotional mind rather than wise mind
- Emotional Overload
- Emotion Myths
Checking the Facts
Many emotions and actions are set off by our thoughts and interpretations of events, not by the events themselves.
Event → thoughts → emotions
Our emotions can also have a big effect on our thoughts about events
Event → emotions → thoughts
Checking the facts can help us change our emotions.
How to Check the Facts
- Ask: what is the emotion involved?
- Ask: What is the event prompting my emotion? – describe the facts you observe using your senses.
- Ask: What are my interpretations, thoughts, and assumptions about the event? – think of other possible interpretations, look at all points of view
- Ask: Am I assuming a threat?
- Ask: What’s the catastrophe?
- Ask: Does my emotion and its intensity fit the actual facts?
Examples of Emotions That Fit the Facts
- There is a threat to your life or that of someone you care about
- There is a threat to your health or that of someone you care about
- There is a threat to your well being or that of someone you care about
- An important goal is blocked
- You are attacked or hurt by others
- You are insulted
- The integrity of your social group is offended or threatened
- Something could poison you
- Somebody you deeply dislike is touching you
- Another person or group gets or has things that you don’t have
- A very important and desired relationship is in danger of being lost
- Someone is threatening to take a valued object away from you.
- Loving a person enhances the quality of your life
- You have lost something or someone permanently
- You will be rejected by a person or group you care about if your behaviour is made public
- Your own behaviour violates your own values or moral code.