When I’m well I am a teacher.

As I’ve been improving I decided to apply for a job on a bit of a whim and I had an interview for it.  The short version of the story is that I didn’t get it.

The longer version is that just the experience of applying, going for an interview and surviving has taught me a huge amount about myself and there are many more positives to this experience.  I am proud of:

  • my motivation to fill in the application form
  • my ability to control my anxiety and attend the interview
  • my ability to teach a lesson as part of the interview
  • my ability to talk to new people in a stressful situation

I think out of most of these it’s the being able to teach part that I am most happy with.  I taught an hour’s lesson today for the first time in six months.  Was it perfect? No, far from it but I held everything together, gave the illusion of confidence and got some really good feedback from the students.

Another big positive is that it has reinvigorated me to return to the classroom.  There is a real buzz that goes on when I teach, I feel alive, I feel like I am making a difference and it is something that defines me.  It is also something that can make me ill so I have to be careful but I now feel in a much better position mentally to cope.

So, even though I am disappointed I didn’t get the job I can see lots of positives and that alone is something I wouldn’t have been able to do 6-months ago.