I sometimes wish I didn’t think about things so much.

I’ve had a headache most of the day but now it’s finally gone, I can’t stop thinking about the grand scheme of things.  What is the point of life?  I don’t mean this in a depressive way, at this moment I want to keep on living, I mean in it a spiritual way.

I would describe myself as an atheist but I find at times this doesn’t sit well with my depression as I start pondering these bigger questions.  I sometimes wonder if theists have it easier as they have the big picture worked out.

What really is the point of human life?  We’re going to be here on the Earth for such a short period of time in the big timeline of the Universe.  One day the Earth will die, the Sun will explode and there won’t be anything left at all.   Right now, across the universe stars are exploding, some of which might have or have had life orbiting them.  Stars have a life cycle and our Sun too will die, wiping out the solar system.  It won’t matter by then who is president, what wars have happened, who we chose to marry, whether we discovered the magic of eternal youth, which Kardashian did what or whether we chose to eat vegan or meat.  So why do we bother at all?

Well, like I say this doesn’t come from a place of depression it comes from a place of query.  For me, we only get one chance at life and we have to make the most of our 80ish years here.  We need to love. We need to care.  We need to look after ourselves and seek out joy.

Now, this is where I get frustrated with myself for wasting those days in bed in a depression.  But….here’s my promise. I won’t waste another day whilst I am here.  Life really is too short.