I’d forgotten how exhausting I find this illness.
Today I went to a new women’s support group ran by my most local branch of MIND. It is a group for women with mental health problems. I moved to this part of the country about 18-months ago but because I was working I haven’t really had chance to meet any new people here. Now I am off sick and am recovering I thought it would be good to push myself to attend some support sessions.
My anxiety this morning before leaving was quite bad, not as bad as it has been in the past and not enough that I needed to take some of my diazepam but I was definitely jittery. However, I pushed through it (with the help of some people on Twitter!) and managed to get the bus there. Luckily I had no problem finding the place once I had got off the bus.
As I was about the enter the building, the anxiety crept up but I fought it and got in to be greeted by two lovely ladies behind the reception. I signed in and they directed me to where I could get a cup of coffee. Whilst I was sat in the kitchen area I did feel quite isolated as everyone else seemed to know each other and I wasn’t feeling brave enough to join in the conversation so I sat pretending to look through some information sheets.
Anyway, when it was time for the group to begin one of the support workers there showed me to the room and introduced me to the rest of the group. It turned out to be a lovely bunch of people – about 9 in total, we chatted, played some bingo and had a raffle, I even won a prize of a manicure set!
I am glad I went but it has really worn me out. I’d forgotten how exhausting beating anxiety is and how difficult I find new situations. All I want to do is sleep now which makes me worry about getting back to work……one step at a time though. Please tell me I’m not the only one who gets this tired so easily!?!